Teaching failure to your child

Teaching failure to your child

As parents we always want to see our kids succeed in life, but what we forget while accomplishing our mission to make them successful, is teaching them about failure.

But how do we do that?

The experts at We Positive Parenting, parent child counselling services in Ahmedabad, believe that parents should make their kids understand that in order to grow, everyone needs to face failure in their life. And we as parents have many ways to help their kids move beyond failure.

Let them fall, but be there to pick them up

When your child fails at any big or small task in his\her life, the first thing to do for you as a parent is to acknowledge their efforts. Praise them for the efforts they made to do a task and motivate them to overcome the setback or the failure. Their failure is an opportunity for you as a parent to teach them how to focus on growth by acceptance and problem-solving skills. Tell them what to do next, and how to do it, for a better chance at success.

Back up your child with positive affirmations. Simple statements like “I know it’s tough, but you can do it” or “It’s okay, there’s always a next time” can boost your child’s morale. Because your positive words and encouragement from you can have a great impact on your child.

Another great way to pump up your child’s confidence is by making a list of pros-cons and turning these failures into teachable moments.

Looking at the list of pros, the child gets confidence in tackling the other side of the list, the cons.

Sit & explain the learning pit

Back in the year 2007, Author James Nottingham, discovered a new concept of the learning journey, known as the Learning Pit. It is a simple framework that shows the importance of hurdles in life. Moreover, it also says that the highs in life are especially rewarding when you have had the lows that have made you stumble.

The learning pit makes one encounter their self-doubts, develops deep thinking to come up with ideas and solutions to overcome the challenges and further build the confidence to work towards the final goal.

Teach your kid about the learning pit by making it a part of their vocabulary. Then the most important thing is to teach them how to get out of the ‘pit’ by staying committed to achieving their goals.

Be a role model for them

While teaching your kids about failure being a part of everyone’s life, tell them about yourself. You, as a parent, can share examples of your “failures”, its consequences and how you learned and evolved from that phase.

You as a parent can think about your biggest or smallest challenge and try to remember about the lessons it taught you. These failures can be anything, losing a job opportunity, failing in some exam during school, etc. Back it up with the story about your journey from experiencing this failure to the steps you took to overcome the hurdles and achieve success.

Your children will realise the importance of challenges, failures and how they mould you in the journey.

In order to make them understand hardships and how to get over them, you can watch motivational movies with them. Like the Will Smith-starrer “The Pursuit of Happyness”. This movie teaches everyone to define their own happiness and pursue it.

Help them with therapy

Therapy is not just something that a child needs when he\she is depressed. Even if problems aren’t severe, some extra support can help your child navigate through the choppy waters of failure.

How to detect if they are having problems? They may have started feeling less confident after the failure, they may have started withdrawing themselves from the family, friends activities that they loved earlier, they may have been showing excessive worry about the future, or express hopelessness a lot. If a child is not able to work because of all of this, it is totally ok to seek professional help.

The experts at We Positive Parenting, Parent Child Counselling Services in Ahmedabad, understand that learning to overcome failure can be painful. But kids will only succeed if they can acquire the skill to handle whatever life throws their way. And you are the only one who can help them acquire those skills.